'til we die

Thick

my mind

with muddled thoughts of you

swimming in and out

of my visions all morning

my mind is fevered
and broken

Im lost but I haven't moved

you don't even know

that im gone

delusional

livin in my own created fantasys

ripe on my hot joys
I feel elated my head on the table

and i escape my life
every time i close my eyes

all of you are happy,
hiding in pretty lies.

perhaps the little girl was right
staring me down with all her
prejudice

go back to your life
accept a fate never wanted
never asked for

your cage
while i live in mine

i'm always good at the beginnings
then I'm always left behind

Life must be more
then disappointments
til we die...

To Stand

What can you do

when the dream ends

and you wake up to

once a friend

now a sympathetic lier

what tumbles from you lips

could hardly stifle all

my wanting

worn from all my doubting

now

I've nothing left to do

but believe you

what a silly girl

living forever in

her fantasies

taking just a moments
fancy

just to throw it all way

I have once known happy

I have once felt love

I was once left to stand corrected

and now my feelings all have
gone...

Changing of the Seasons

A break from my rhythmical musings to let you know what I'm up to. Lots of fantastic projects with not a moment to give thought to all the should have - could have beens...

Just the way I like it. Some of the most exciting projects include the band. We have shows coming up and we are working out some studio time to record original tracks.

There are also two books in the works. The first is the Barefoot Ladies Art Book. A collab effort with two other artists, a photographer, and a bunch of models.

Check out some concepts we're working on:

1. The Tennessee Williams
Beautiful girl, lounging on a bed barefoot. Rainy day in black and white with many shades of grey. A clean room, sparse furniture and a pitcher of water by the bed. "Talk to me like the Rain" Style. The focus on the bottom of her soles, losing focus toward the window... Quiet, Southern and Gothic.

2. The Marie Antoinette
Perfect Girl in wig - piled high white hair - and big blue satin gown. At a tea party barefoot. Lavish and decadent with lots of different photos. Perhaps an angled shot of candy painted toes buried under little tea cakes. Or pouring tea over her feet into a large basin... http://www.BarefootLadiesArtBook.com

Any one wanting to get involved just drop me a line through the Kickstarter message board here: http://kck.st/d3PcvE

There is another big archeology project coming up as well. I'll be documenting that through video, photos and a book. Off in search of Nephilim. Any help or funding is totally appreciated. Thank you for reading and keep reading to stay current my inspirations...

Again?

oh my abandon
reckless and sweet
in soften dirty rapture

myself is complete

understand so totally

wrapped in arms

tightly

I feel it

the soft

surrender to entropy
so solemn your loyalty

take rest inside of
my soul

Once

there is something
that few ever see

but we never forget
those eyes

a smile

it emanates from
the hearts

and wells up
from the soul

a connection so divine
words
have no description
for this state of bliss

all the world
the hills
the grass beside the road

and the street
glows with the
new

everything is beautiful

i see it in the pictures
it plays on the lips of strangers

and i admire the brave

Deep as the Sea

its a strange thing
to chase enlightenment

follow a dream

and oh so accepted
this flight filled being

how then
am i finding
these guts pushed
so low

theres not a thing wrong

why am i on the floor

in the throws of my pity
he tosses me about

i feel no more
mercy

and dismiss all doubt

I know there is love
but i'm to weak to say

i've suffered my romance

and still took this chance

return all the favors

these trinkets of gods

that have marred all my living

now
left too blind to see
I suffer
withdrawals

that no drug gives reprieve
and ache from a pain
that no pill can relieve

no priest
and no martyr

just me
and my shadows

they quietly company
where ever i go

and as high as the skye
and as deep as the sea

maybe
someday
someone
will learn to love
...

Last

red wine
and tootsie rolls
all the
decadence in the world
will never
make me as happy
as our last moments together
on the worst
day of my life

The Snow

are we meant to be

as flowers

growing

constantly absorbing

the flow of spirit 

and expessing life

and world

are we meant to die

like flowers

in the snow?

two minutes til midnight

what it must be like

to live the lenthened hours

like this

where every breath

is taken

by a mention

and all the daunting time

locked away inside my mind

a whisper

a picture

a talismen

the timber in the voice

of a soft spoken prayer

late

so late at night

lighting a candle

to mark moments so sacred

and silent

now

i creep into their room

and look upon the faces
of divine and i know

whos life

comes before mine

who's dreams i will live
to see them through

i've found god

i've seen truth

i've made promises

and i've broken them

i am not who i was yesterday

two minutes ago

and there's a comfort to be found
in clarity

we all are divinity
hopelessly trapped in humanity

Soft

 i dream of when i scale the misty mountain who will go to tibet india egypt i dream of temple walls so holy far from thoughts that trap me hold me where i can stand with all my trembling face to face and breathe in the freedom ah, sweet liberation i take my joy in anticipation friend of sacrifice body of stone heart of ice covered by smiles to be polite but your not blind and i understand that all these lies will melt with time and your just playing nice we laugh and we feel sadness drowing in each others madness or maybe its just mine my sweet divine you know your never wrong but hear my songs my words my prayer my escape, yes from sinking into soft despair

Air

see the blind

and be thankful

for sight

hear a sigh

and be thankful

you can listen to sorrow

see the dead

breathe and be thankful

for tomorrow

cause you can only assume

from a moment

that the next will be waiting

so see what is not

all around you

but don't linger

be thankful

for what is...

only you

are there to hold on to

not sanity

a house

or a home

a club

or a tomb

listen

i am the sick sad

devotion

dwindling

and distant

as a midnights prayer

open your eyes

with hope and knowing

to find

only air

I wanted it all

but my all wasn't fair

all your hurting

my despair

how can there be

happy there?

with all our wanting

who can care

and when we let go

i'll just disappear

...

Un nom

Je ne sais jamais

si elle sera ok

vivons-nous

dans une fantaisie

ou le mal est bon

et les bonnes obtenir tous les

la verite est tombee de la nuit

et nous ne prenons pas la chute

qui ou quoi

est cette la douleur

et a quel point

puis-je decider

de donner a cette douleur

un nom

et laisser la joie

commencer

allons-nous gagner

une guerre contre le monde entier

vous pouvez jouer le sauveur

and I'll play the soul...

all

all i 

ever wanted

was just to love 

and be 

loved

in return

Christ

how can you be sad

if there is no you

no i

leave the world to

its wile-less wondering

i move

but i do not

i have found you

my silent center

and everything

everyone

all the flood will follow

we don't know

but we think we do

follow me

i know the way

i carry the light of a soul

untouched by anger

unknown to sores on my bare

heels

as i track the desert

i feel you with me

all of you

the ghosts of a world

and i know what 

has to be done

not for me 

for everyone

the universal secret

spoken

11pm 

feel that

gods eyes

follow your devotion,

bring the revolution

i have the willing nation

all your aithers

will wither

under the thumb of 

the unborn

the point of all 

consciousness expands

and we are destroyed 

to be brought together

:)

I like Shakespeare :)

Et tu, Brute?

angel baby

i look

in her eyes

does she know goodbye

how could she possibly understand

what its like to lose a man

you will

someday

your flesh of mine

fated to wreck it all

with time

but for now

allow

your cherubs face

to smile

and show what little grace

a woman of our name

has to bear

there are no flowers 

tucked in curls

here little girl

you reflect your mothers

tears

 its my greatest fear

you understand

that you knew

as you grew inside

the faults that you came into

 and when you ask

were did daddy go

i'll tell the truth

 i don't know

it's my mistake that no one wants us, but its not for all my wanting. To bring a face so smiling as to claim with meaning. This is what i want, you are my life, my family, my children, my wife. Its wrong that with all my questioning a being so known for wondering could ever make it right. Please forgive me all the hard life.  God I'm sorry guys.

 i guess sometimes one just shouldn't write...

Missing

i miss

someone to hold

to tell me it will be ok

and make the world go away

to give me love 

without end

my sweet friend

and a heart

so full of kindness

it bleeds for the world

and just being close

to feel

to hear

to know

the softness of truth

for I

am not a hard creature

I

am not one to be condemned

I should not be judged 

or directed

like water

please flow

deep

so deep

and unaffected by the rocky bottom

we are

only shallow water trips

i am never stagnant

because i am not my mind

or yours

i never can be

nor can you stay trapped

to flow is natural

to hold is divine

to feel is truth.

back

i remember

ties of peace

friends at ease

and now there's only war

disloyal to ourselves

keeping hearts that hide

fear of freedom to confide

serious smiles

so full of sadness

at the missing element

that once made us human

that once made us friends

we can never be in sunlight together again

driven apart by bodies

these souls on a journey

can the child's peace ever

reflect on our faces

will the path ever find us together

while running from choices

only

look
i know the every move

i've seen the contemplation

on a heart

heavy as the

winter snow on mountains

all around the land

of earth and fire

6 feet over

lyin

taking sides

under the false promise
of paradise

surrounded by anger

the source of change

there are no maps

in the mind we tread

but all

every

single

second

the sparks create

manifest a state

of life or desperation

is there a peaceful resolution

between children and toys

man and boys

woman and lies

what are relationships

besides ties that bind

keep us from the light

all we need is to realize

all this time

is only ours

all our problems

only ours

because we can't bare to be alone

with ourselves

i will learn

i am the resolution of me

i am the center of being

and so are you

understand there is no
separation from you and god

from kindness and fraud

i am my heart

open to hurt

left to damage

and blind in courage

not a thing

but a feeling

i and my mind

my organs, my skin

both outside and in

are living to live

and so are yours

i am love

lover and beloved

to me

all the world is my

hopeless hearts obsession

and i will give only joy that
returns from the universe

i feel and release the pain

i am not my reality

but i get lost in it's consciousness.

sweet words

only give titles

to the infinite

i vow to never capture

i vow to liberate

i vow to penetrate

i vow to attain

give life to the dead

and break those chains

with or without

no doubt

anger comes when someone
does it better

so don't compare

or you'll never escape

self induced hell

me 2

all i can do
is sleep
while your gone

my body's withdrawn
and my mind is tired

my heart is abstained

and the rush in my mind
has bowed down

to the voice in yours

fall is here

and soon all memories
of the ruin times

will wash me again

clean of worldly solutions

time

and the void of corruption

i let your misguided words
shape my truth

my absolute

was never you

but why then do i cry
in desperation

for some one to hold me

keep me from this helpless feeling
because i can't believe in

me