Waiting for January

this celebrated sense of cerebral conformity
the scent seems to follow you.

tense always
where do we go

further from the solitary
feeling of self

i understand
what you don't want me to

i am to blame for the
state of this stasis

barely alive
thank god in this absence

we all want for a greater purpose
we know is just waiting

in the mailbox
at the bank

when we leave or comeback
just beyond tomorrow

the sun hides behind
the mountains

just over the horizon
but you don't know how
to climb

so again you struggle
with ever opening the door

and even more
can't decide if you even

make it there
wouldn't it just be night
by then

missed it again
the sun on your face

the wet grass
on your knees

a smile on your
flawless mind

felt it all come down
when you say that
life is a mistake
your right

i was wrong
i surrender to your justice

don't forget to be emotional
how else can they tell
your serious

about what you know
is defined right

don't forget your "right"
overrides everyone else's
experience

i long for the empty bliss
that waits on the other
side of abandon

i can let go of everything

but you