...

i am

thankful

It was all

it was all I had
when u was it Wasn’t good enough
to be
and you said it wasn’t --


I HAD COME AND GONE
AND YOU ‘VE PAID HIM ,
YOU GAVE IT UP FOR ME
AND YOU HID HIM

I WAS ALL I FIND
WHEN YOU SAID
HE WASN’T ANYTIHNG TO ME
------

IT WAS ALL I’D DO TO REMEMBER
IT WAS evERYTHING I WAS
AND I
NEVER STOPPED IT

IT WAS ALL THAT TIME TO BE
AND HE WAS OLD ENOUGH FOR ME
SAID IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

NO NO NO YOU CAN’T SAVE A THING FROM ME

IN OUR LIBERTY

YOU’LL BE GOOD


CAUSE IT WAS BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOU R BAD LIKE ME
DON’T FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARK

CauSE I’M BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOUr BAD LIKE ME
OH DON’T WE GAIN IT BEFORE
WE START

OH BEFORE WE START

IT WASn't
LIKE I DIDN’T REMEMBER

BUT IT WASN’T ALL THAT I THOUGHT I HAD

AND EVERYTiME I TRIED TO KEEP HOLDING ON
IT FLYS
IT SLIPS AWAY
LIKE A SOAPY BUBBLE

THAT I CANNOT KEEP
ITS LIKE IT WAS NEVER MEaNT
FOR MY INTENT TO GET

BUT I THOUGHT THAT IF I’D HOLD IT AKL IN
THE MOMENT, MORE IT ‘ D SLIP AWAY
MORE IT’D SLIP AWAY

BUT I NEVER NEW THaT ITS WAS MEaNT FOR ME
BECAUSE ID ALWAYS SAID THAT IT WAS MEaNT TO BE FREE

BUT I CAME TO YOU,
KNOW your NEW WAY

CAUSE IT WAS BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOUR BAD LIKE ME

OH DON’T FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARK

J YOUR BAD LIkE YOU
AND I’M BAD LIKE ME
ITS OUR INDIVIDUAL TASTES
thAT MAKES US FREE


OKAY LET ME WORRY aBout A DAY
LIES EVERYDAY
AND YOUR JUST SOME PLAY
AND IT WAS NOT THAT I WOULD OWN YOU FOREVER
IN THIS WEB
IT KEEPS ON GOING
BUT ITS BETTER

IN I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD TURN HER
BUT I GAVE LOVE EVERYDAY

AND I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT I WAS OFF TRACK
AND I NEVER THOUGHT

I’D FALL OUT Of CONTROL
FALL OUT OF CONTROL

CAUSE I ‘M BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOUR BAD LIKE ME
DON’T FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARK

BAD


--------

If you'd like to hear my recorded version check out my band:
http://www.myspace.com/castoffunerals

Love

what is love
the affinity of fields
the reuniting of
a
separate consciousness

if we all reflect the same
waves of feeling from the brain

projected through the
waves of being

should all the world love
destructively

or join together
in a chorus greater
than the dream of god

we are the flood
connected and frustrated
by our possessions possessing

loved is owned when love is known
but hushed it blossoms
never mentioned

the word

where is the end
for me
if there is a happiness
in the word
fulfilled
in the kiss
without words

like the first time
never replayed
cause we're already dead

i wanted
i lost it
your here
but I'm alone

cause you don't want it
anymore

guess i used up all my time
every try just makes it less

every smile
sits undressed

and it's never enough
to just feel good about yourself

i cry
and I'm here
but no one cares

It Is

its no wonder
we live in a world
of lies

no one can face
the truth
when its said

that thing
that we already know
when we are shown

truth
god
blindness

consuming souls
we turn our backs
on what we cant control

we've forgotten how to feel
we don't want to see whats real
because we can't

conditioned to love
what we confine
and damned to
reach for freedom

that can not be attained
as long as we lie
and believe

that it's something
to pursue
and not something
that is

Whatever you think
will make it right
will make it good
will make it anything

will make it lies
and your easy breezy
false face
will want

and will find
emptiness
with out
attainment

we should all
speak truth

there is no
right
there is no
light
there is no
space
theres just a face
an image
that we steal
for a short time

parasitic beings
of energy
possessing
a mind body

until we destroy
this immortal
creature

with our lies
trapped until
we open up to the
pain that comes
when the raw soul
is bare

naked and strewn
before the universe
crying "take me"

for i am perfect
in my imperfections

i am holy
in my mistakes

i was truth
to my world

for always

it’s not about the money
or the company
this life

its not about the friendship
or the fame
this name

you can run
not this time
not again
cause the rain will follow you

Til your done with
running
done with time

divine threads will bind
across space and
lifetimes.

i will find me
when the running ends
floating in stars
rippling dimensions
slipping through my fingers
like sand

the beach
and breasts for pillows
smiles continue
frozen in shutters
of memories

for always
but never the same
cause we have changed
i understand

it was always you
in me

Sea Shells

Just when i thought
i understood

when i broke through
safe to sleep

i’m running again
back on my toes

can’t be too comfortable
its cold here

i made the dark
its name is me

mistaken shapes of
reality

undermine the
purpose

just to be
to see

to hold something
with meaning

once more
my friend

by threads
our lives hang

always together
forever never

drifting so close
to dreaming

waves crash with ebbing
angry words

falling deft before
the roaring reef

there at night
i gather the fragments

altogether i put them away
broken by shame

into an old shoe box
labeled "dreams"

Asking Too Much

opening to the sun
i feel the brightness
fill my face

growing
pulling life
like water from
the ground

ah, the greatest joy
to smile
and feel the sun
return
my gesture

reaching for the
unattainable visage
rooted in the earth
and wishing for stars

imagine the journey
but you'd only burn
trying to embrace
the sun

:)

Herro :)

Sweet

unwinding

myself

you were right

my friend

some time ago

what's a heart

but a whole

it can't be filled

by you

or by who

him or her

lusty blurs

where's that castle on a cloud?

the love that outlives

kiss and tell

my dimebag heart abstains

away

and travels further

everyday

i feel my soul

slipping back to sleep

until you come back

my sweet

The Lines

if every dream I ever had

was trapped within this box

I made inside awareness

where consciousness was made a burden

caught between myself

and someone

Suite e

i talk of dreams

i talk of children

of an idle brain

begot of nothing but vain fantasy

if Shakespeare taught all we ever needed
to know of dreaming

where would we be each night

what a repetitive world

what a repetitive mind

believes all that needs

to be learned is only that

which breeds indifference

only that which comes from outside

where is the real?

undefined even by definition

inside

and out

the all permeating

instantaneous

we are the light

the node

the web

connectors of electricity in a dark
universe

here i see the shadows creeping

i know i saw a spider

i know a heard a cinder

but where have they gone

and why those i's

we're all a wave

an ocean

we rise and
we fall

we live and
we become nothing

the being is gone
and done

now where are we
what are we

no more then dispersed "should have" "could haves"

what the fuck are you doing feeling
the way you do now

why are you learning someone else's game

whose rules

whose money

whose mistakes

what is it you want so badly

why do you wake in the morning

perhaps its this mind that traps you
into an infinite world

finite by definition

which separates you from experience again

forget to run from what fights you

forget to breathe when it happens

fall back inside

to find me

well not me

but thats as close as you can get
to describing the indescribable

to conceptualizing and conceiving
of something so incredible

so fulfilling

it was missed

prepare yourself to let go of nothing

and engage the sexual writhing beneath
the surface of silky existence,

a shell to cover the soul, pounds of death
and water this vehicle surrounds

and here you experience the weight of your
own doings

so heres you moral

and what a life

for now

a thought

disturbed...

My Meez

Wicked Weekend

may all your fears
be satiated

and all you pleasures
meet

watch out for all your doing
leaving no room
for regret

before the end is written
and you sleeping soul
is wet

see nighttime full of
mocking mouths

gaping eyes which
cannot see

and the
cavern full of nothing

under which the mauling
feed

kiss this, fuck
regret is nothing

save your silent
revelries

enter now
into this morning

the one you lost...
is now at peace

happy Halloween
everybody

Touch

this is your center
i am your mind

leave behind
what you need

and touch with
pale fingers

where i think you
should be

ah the air
escapes your life

and wet and warm
in the beginning

let it stay in you
until the fondness
fades

until it fades
i'll stay

run backwards
over deadleaves

frozen cheeks
will mar the makeup

dare to touch
the numbness

and we will stay
until your color fades

until it fades
i'll stay

"No" Place

in a land made of mirror
i tread in soft slippers

over the invisible infinite surface

cover my mouth to
hide my shame

over and over
and over again

i don't complain
don't make a sound

the silvery silence is
defining

and when i end
i forget
to begin

entranced by my walking
my self is gone

looking for you
once frozen sun

in the horizon i see my face
illuminated solitude and grace

"someday" i sit and sigh
reflecting in space

happy 4th yall

If anything should happen in the big NY

if the world disappears, or just i do

I would like everyone to know

Happy independence day

Do it for you

accept the good with bad

swallow your ego

and allow yourself the freedom

entitled to a living being

and shout to the heavens

i am here and i will be happy

because i breathe,

because i see

i am and i experience

I love and i am life

don't react

allow and understand you
and every other being alive

lives and dies

so switch off the autopilot

jump headfirst into your biggest fears

because after that what's left

but to be the traveler
the navagator

the one who truely lived
and died

but still endures

to all of you

taking day by day

i love you

i will always love you

i respect you and i miss you

and most of all

now

right now

I am here with you
enjoying you

for who you really are
a living being

and thats enough for me

Humanity

in this world
of inconsistancy

i dance
like the small
flower

in a wake
of a mighty wind

wavering
secretly
i dream of a race
that knows
more of self
then i ever could

can't you see
in that light
through slanted eyes
that ancient need

only filled by your
self satisfaction

i was right

so long ago

standing alone

reflecting on a people

only gratified by pain

silence followed love
down the twisted halls

locker lined lessons
in social disfucntion

oh well

the illusions run
away with me again

i am possesed by possesions

wanted by lovers
and loved by none

i tread down
the shadowy tracks
of soul seclusion

playing a game
with myself
i walk through the
rain again

suffering incomparable
to starvation

i am tryly centered in
the wrong direction

counter-weighed by
hate

i rock above the waves
i see the sea of hands

there i confide
in unfamiliar eyes

'cause icons fall
but never die...

OK

moving forward
never ceasing
to amaze

minds a haze
my pillz
all.........
gone

forests forgotten
walking through
burnt remains

i am the one
captain of absence
passing by
the sun

after all
the dust has
settled on
the world

i have begun
to derail time

take it in
long lines
smiling at
the reflection

bleeding down on me
close my eyes to
see the future
erased

escaped
a life

who can say
it's ok

The World

here we are
at the beginning
and the end

now together
once apart
i self destruct
to find the center

cutting
red wine
lines across time

vertically i
consider
all i have remembered

and i travel down through time
progressing backwards

I make a space
a small black box

my knees tight
huddled up inside

feeling in
suspension

i can't escape this tension
so i sleep

until you come

all existence
dripping down
the arched
back of my skull

enough of tearing
love through rivers
shining faces

in the bathroom light
floor of the shower

weeping for the world

CANT BE SAVED - Senses Fail

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