I like Shakespeare :)

Et tu, Brute?

angel baby

i look

in her eyes

does she know goodbye

how could she possibly understand

what its like to lose a man

you will

someday

your flesh of mine

fated to wreck it all

with time

but for now

allow

your cherubs face

to smile

and show what little grace

a woman of our name

has to bear

there are no flowers 

tucked in curls

here little girl

you reflect your mothers

tears

 its my greatest fear

you understand

that you knew

as you grew inside

the faults that you came into

 and when you ask

were did daddy go

i'll tell the truth

 i don't know

it's my mistake that no one wants us, but its not for all my wanting. To bring a face so smiling as to claim with meaning. This is what i want, you are my life, my family, my children, my wife. Its wrong that with all my questioning a being so known for wondering could ever make it right. Please forgive me all the hard life.  God I'm sorry guys.

 i guess sometimes one just shouldn't write...

Missing

i miss

someone to hold

to tell me it will be ok

and make the world go away

to give me love 

without end

my sweet friend

and a heart

so full of kindness

it bleeds for the world

and just being close

to feel

to hear

to know

the softness of truth

for I

am not a hard creature

I

am not one to be condemned

I should not be judged 

or directed

like water

please flow

deep

so deep

and unaffected by the rocky bottom

we are

only shallow water trips

i am never stagnant

because i am not my mind

or yours

i never can be

nor can you stay trapped

to flow is natural

to hold is divine

to feel is truth.

back

i remember

ties of peace

friends at ease

and now there's only war

disloyal to ourselves

keeping hearts that hide

fear of freedom to confide

serious smiles

so full of sadness

at the missing element

that once made us human

that once made us friends

we can never be in sunlight together again

driven apart by bodies

these souls on a journey

can the child's peace ever

reflect on our faces

will the path ever find us together

while running from choices

only

look
i know the every move

i've seen the contemplation

on a heart

heavy as the

winter snow on mountains

all around the land

of earth and fire

6 feet over

lyin

taking sides

under the false promise
of paradise

surrounded by anger

the source of change

there are no maps

in the mind we tread

but all

every

single

second

the sparks create

manifest a state

of life or desperation

is there a peaceful resolution

between children and toys

man and boys

woman and lies

what are relationships

besides ties that bind

keep us from the light

all we need is to realize

all this time

is only ours

all our problems

only ours

because we can't bare to be alone

with ourselves

i will learn

i am the resolution of me

i am the center of being

and so are you

understand there is no
separation from you and god

from kindness and fraud

i am my heart

open to hurt

left to damage

and blind in courage

not a thing

but a feeling

i and my mind

my organs, my skin

both outside and in

are living to live

and so are yours

i am love

lover and beloved

to me

all the world is my

hopeless hearts obsession

and i will give only joy that
returns from the universe

i feel and release the pain

i am not my reality

but i get lost in it's consciousness.

sweet words

only give titles

to the infinite

i vow to never capture

i vow to liberate

i vow to penetrate

i vow to attain

give life to the dead

and break those chains

with or without

no doubt

anger comes when someone
does it better

so don't compare

or you'll never escape

self induced hell

me 2

all i can do
is sleep
while your gone

my body's withdrawn
and my mind is tired

my heart is abstained

and the rush in my mind
has bowed down

to the voice in yours

fall is here

and soon all memories
of the ruin times

will wash me again

clean of worldly solutions

time

and the void of corruption

i let your misguided words
shape my truth

my absolute

was never you

but why then do i cry
in desperation

for some one to hold me

keep me from this helpless feeling
because i can't believe in

me

Sighs

am i really as severe
as your mouth
says i am

can we take back
all the bad
and all the games

all the self same
excuses

makes all the difference
in a failing case

every smile covers
a final plea

"but stone walls
do not a prison make

nor iron bars a cage"

i am free

in my mind

my soul
you'll never bind

cause you'll never find
me hidden
in the darkness
of a mind
untouched
by you

your lips
your shit

i am tired
of always feeling

something is missing
and i come to find
that little quiet one

is vacant me.
hiding behind hollow eyes

climbing over all the
junk inside.

piled high
there's not enough to
buy that
fills the space

left by my absent soul

but thank you
for my understanding

for my abandon

forgot myself

almost a decade
behind my own existence

thought i was a teardrop
'til i recognized the flood

...

i am

thankful

It was all

it was all I had
when u was it Wasn’t good enough
to be
and you said it wasn’t --


I HAD COME AND GONE
AND YOU ‘VE PAID HIM ,
YOU GAVE IT UP FOR ME
AND YOU HID HIM

I WAS ALL I FIND
WHEN YOU SAID
HE WASN’T ANYTIHNG TO ME
------

IT WAS ALL I’D DO TO REMEMBER
IT WAS evERYTHING I WAS
AND I
NEVER STOPPED IT

IT WAS ALL THAT TIME TO BE
AND HE WAS OLD ENOUGH FOR ME
SAID IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

NO NO NO YOU CAN’T SAVE A THING FROM ME

IN OUR LIBERTY

YOU’LL BE GOOD


CAUSE IT WAS BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOU R BAD LIKE ME
DON’T FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARK

CauSE I’M BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOUr BAD LIKE ME
OH DON’T WE GAIN IT BEFORE
WE START

OH BEFORE WE START

IT WASn't
LIKE I DIDN’T REMEMBER

BUT IT WASN’T ALL THAT I THOUGHT I HAD

AND EVERYTiME I TRIED TO KEEP HOLDING ON
IT FLYS
IT SLIPS AWAY
LIKE A SOAPY BUBBLE

THAT I CANNOT KEEP
ITS LIKE IT WAS NEVER MEaNT
FOR MY INTENT TO GET

BUT I THOUGHT THAT IF I’D HOLD IT AKL IN
THE MOMENT, MORE IT ‘ D SLIP AWAY
MORE IT’D SLIP AWAY

BUT I NEVER NEW THaT ITS WAS MEaNT FOR ME
BECAUSE ID ALWAYS SAID THAT IT WAS MEaNT TO BE FREE

BUT I CAME TO YOU,
KNOW your NEW WAY

CAUSE IT WAS BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOUR BAD LIKE ME

OH DON’T FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARK

J YOUR BAD LIkE YOU
AND I’M BAD LIKE ME
ITS OUR INDIVIDUAL TASTES
thAT MAKES US FREE


OKAY LET ME WORRY aBout A DAY
LIES EVERYDAY
AND YOUR JUST SOME PLAY
AND IT WAS NOT THAT I WOULD OWN YOU FOREVER
IN THIS WEB
IT KEEPS ON GOING
BUT ITS BETTER

IN I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD TURN HER
BUT I GAVE LOVE EVERYDAY

AND I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT I WAS OFF TRACK
AND I NEVER THOUGHT

I’D FALL OUT Of CONTROL
FALL OUT OF CONTROL

CAUSE I ‘M BAD LIKE YOU
AND YOUR BAD LIKE ME
DON’T FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARK

BAD


--------

If you'd like to hear my recorded version check out my band:
http://www.myspace.com/castoffunerals

Love

what is love
the affinity of fields
the reuniting of
a
separate consciousness

if we all reflect the same
waves of feeling from the brain

projected through the
waves of being

should all the world love
destructively

or join together
in a chorus greater
than the dream of god

we are the flood
connected and frustrated
by our possessions possessing

loved is owned when love is known
but hushed it blossoms
never mentioned

the word

where is the end
for me
if there is a happiness
in the word
fulfilled
in the kiss
without words

like the first time
never replayed
cause we're already dead

i wanted
i lost it
your here
but I'm alone

cause you don't want it
anymore

guess i used up all my time
every try just makes it less

every smile
sits undressed

and it's never enough
to just feel good about yourself

i cry
and I'm here
but no one cares

It Is

its no wonder
we live in a world
of lies

no one can face
the truth
when its said

that thing
that we already know
when we are shown

truth
god
blindness

consuming souls
we turn our backs
on what we cant control

we've forgotten how to feel
we don't want to see whats real
because we can't

conditioned to love
what we confine
and damned to
reach for freedom

that can not be attained
as long as we lie
and believe

that it's something
to pursue
and not something
that is

Whatever you think
will make it right
will make it good
will make it anything

will make it lies
and your easy breezy
false face
will want

and will find
emptiness
with out
attainment

we should all
speak truth

there is no
right
there is no
light
there is no
space
theres just a face
an image
that we steal
for a short time

parasitic beings
of energy
possessing
a mind body

until we destroy
this immortal
creature

with our lies
trapped until
we open up to the
pain that comes
when the raw soul
is bare

naked and strewn
before the universe
crying "take me"

for i am perfect
in my imperfections

i am holy
in my mistakes

i was truth
to my world

for always

it’s not about the money
or the company
this life

its not about the friendship
or the fame
this name

you can run
not this time
not again
cause the rain will follow you

Til your done with
running
done with time

divine threads will bind
across space and
lifetimes.

i will find me
when the running ends
floating in stars
rippling dimensions
slipping through my fingers
like sand

the beach
and breasts for pillows
smiles continue
frozen in shutters
of memories

for always
but never the same
cause we have changed
i understand

it was always you
in me

Sea Shells

Just when i thought
i understood

when i broke through
safe to sleep

i’m running again
back on my toes

can’t be too comfortable
its cold here

i made the dark
its name is me

mistaken shapes of
reality

undermine the
purpose

just to be
to see

to hold something
with meaning

once more
my friend

by threads
our lives hang

always together
forever never

drifting so close
to dreaming

waves crash with ebbing
angry words

falling deft before
the roaring reef

there at night
i gather the fragments

altogether i put them away
broken by shame

into an old shoe box
labeled "dreams"

Asking Too Much

opening to the sun
i feel the brightness
fill my face

growing
pulling life
like water from
the ground

ah, the greatest joy
to smile
and feel the sun
return
my gesture

reaching for the
unattainable visage
rooted in the earth
and wishing for stars

imagine the journey
but you'd only burn
trying to embrace
the sun

:)

Herro :)

Sweet

unwinding

myself

you were right

my friend

some time ago

what's a heart

but a whole

it can't be filled

by you

or by who

him or her

lusty blurs

where's that castle on a cloud?

the love that outlives

kiss and tell

my dimebag heart abstains

away

and travels further

everyday

i feel my soul

slipping back to sleep

until you come back

my sweet

The Lines

if every dream I ever had

was trapped within this box

I made inside awareness

where consciousness was made a burden

caught between myself

and someone

Suite e

i talk of dreams

i talk of children

of an idle brain

begot of nothing but vain fantasy

if Shakespeare taught all we ever needed
to know of dreaming

where would we be each night

what a repetitive world

what a repetitive mind

believes all that needs

to be learned is only that

which breeds indifference

only that which comes from outside

where is the real?

undefined even by definition

inside

and out

the all permeating

instantaneous

we are the light

the node

the web

connectors of electricity in a dark
universe

here i see the shadows creeping

i know i saw a spider

i know a heard a cinder

but where have they gone

and why those i's

we're all a wave

an ocean

we rise and
we fall

we live and
we become nothing

the being is gone
and done

now where are we
what are we

no more then dispersed "should have" "could haves"

what the fuck are you doing feeling
the way you do now

why are you learning someone else's game

whose rules

whose money

whose mistakes

what is it you want so badly

why do you wake in the morning

perhaps its this mind that traps you
into an infinite world

finite by definition

which separates you from experience again

forget to run from what fights you

forget to breathe when it happens

fall back inside

to find me

well not me

but thats as close as you can get
to describing the indescribable

to conceptualizing and conceiving
of something so incredible

so fulfilling

it was missed

prepare yourself to let go of nothing

and engage the sexual writhing beneath
the surface of silky existence,

a shell to cover the soul, pounds of death
and water this vehicle surrounds

and here you experience the weight of your
own doings

so heres you moral

and what a life

for now

a thought

disturbed...

My Meez